i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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