Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
