Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize