Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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