you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He called his prostate his "boner button".
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
