Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
