i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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