If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
