the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
