really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
My feet surprised me
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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