You can't special order awesome
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
