Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
