Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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