3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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