$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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