you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
