i was born a porn star she said
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
