All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
