Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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