The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
