New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
