bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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