Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
ttyl tear gas
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
