the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
