I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
