i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
