I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
YAS. BRING CRAB.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
