I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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