can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
