I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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