hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
