Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
