cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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