quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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