I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
