i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
