Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
We just shotgunned beers for America
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Randomize