The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
