we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
