We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize