Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
