erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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