when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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