Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize