I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
