Rock
Scissors
Fuck
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
