ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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