i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
