Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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