I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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