Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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