:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize