I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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