Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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