he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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