So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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