another moral hangover. fuck.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
