Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Randomize
