I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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