her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
