my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
