i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
