Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
